Bushwood

I used some connections of mine to become a member of Bushwood Country Club. It's not all I thought it would be. People shun me for what I am. I find that intolerable. I was born this way. I should not be judged this way. People shouldn't shun me because I am a liberal.

Anyway, the restaurant is pretty good. I sat there alone, Rahm was going to come, but he couldn't. You know, he's Jewish. I pointed out that Rahm's record proves that no one is a bigger enemy of Israel, but that wasn't good enough...

To get back on message, today's lunch special was Chicken Parmesan. It tasted great, but gave me horrible gas. When I went home, no one wanted to be around me.

I had a meeting scheduled with Nancy Pelosi. She took it like a trooper. I know she noticed, because this was the worst gas I had ever had. I couldn't stop myself from making a variety of sounds, and odors.

Finally, after she had turned green, she asked if I was well. Then she asked if I wanted to postpone. We had 40 minutes left on the schedule, so I just smiled and said "Nope."

I think The Speaker would agree that even the water boarding briefings she didn't attend went better than this...