I think I am going to try this.

I read about a man that hasn't bathed in 35 years.

Here's the critical piece of information:

Kailash "Kalau" Singh replaces bathing and brushing his teeth with a "fire bath"every evening when he stands on one leg beside a bonfire, smokes marijuana and says prayers to Lord Shiva, according to the Hindustan Times.

I put some thought into this. It's kind of like what the administration is doing to the economy. We've set the economy on fire- as you can see we've burned it almost down to the ground. Most of the administration is on Dope (sin't it obvious), so we have that covered. Now it's only a matter of time before I have a baby boy. Wait, what were we trying to do?

Budget is out.

Big dollars. That's what I'm all about. 3.4 trillion dollars seems like alot, but wait till you see next years budget!

It's the economy, stupid!

When I came in to work today, Geithner was hiding under my desk. He was rolled up in a fetal position, gently rocking back and forth. I tried to get him out of the way- my computer is at my desk and I heard Tetris calling me. Tetris is how I've decided to pass most of my time in the Oval Office. I tried other games but they proved to be to complex. I've been working on Tetris now for four months, and I think I am close to completing level one. As you may of noticed, I'm not always so good at making quick decisions. I hope this can help.

Anyway, I realized that the only way that I was going to get Geithner out of my office was to either let him walk Humpy or let him vent. Since Humpy always comes back so sad when Geithner walks him, I thought that I'd just let him vent.

"Tim, what's wrong buddy?"

"It's the economy, again..." answered Geithner.

"Tell me of this economy you speak of."

"It's the system where goods and services are assigned value for the purpose of trade."

I thought that was interesting. No one had ever stated it to me in that way before. I always thought the economy was just me spending money, and the fed printing more money, or borrowing to cover my spending.

"So what's going on?"

"Well the banks need substantially more money to survive."

"I can solve that- just print more money."

I thought he'd be relieved, but he left more nervous than ever. Some people just don't get it...

Dr. Rahm

1 TRILLION DOLLARS (wasted)!

Balancing the checkbook

I had a meeting with the Republican Leadership today. It was eye opening- I didn't even know that they existed!

Anyway, that Cantor guy was pretty harsh. Spend this, spend that. I was with him until he explained that he was against all the spending- wow, can you imagine? After he left, I called in Geithner. We needed to talk.

"The Republicans are worried about spending" I said.

Geithner replied "I haven't heard that in 8 years, what's bugging them now?"

"Well, Cantor said we are spending more than we have, is that true?"

Geithner thought for a moment- you can tell when he's having trouble with a concept (which happens in most conversations). He finally answered-

"I don't think so.", but I needed more information.

"How can you be sure that we are not out of money?"

Geithner was thinking hard now- and then you could see the light bulb light up over his head.

"We have to have money left- we are not out of checks!"

Boy, was I relieved...

Tea bagging

So, Geithner, Rahm, Ron Paulson and I sat down for a meeting on the spending package. Rahm always reminds me to call these things stimulus packages, but it really is a lot of spending. This time we are looking at about another trillion dollars. We were all (except Paulson- what's his problem?) laughing about how easy is is to spend the second trillion dollars.

The details on these things are brutal, so I went to my happy place and let the other 3 start wading through the details. They were talking about the opposition, and something caught my attention. I though Paulson said that I should be prepared to face "more tea baggings". As you can imagine, that caught my attention. So I said, "Shouldn't the secret service protect me form random and unwanted tea baggings?" That’s when Rahm and Ron started laughing (Geithner just got uncomfortable looking).

After they stopped laughing, Geithner offered- "It wouldn't be so bad..." and then everyone started looking uncomfortable . When Tim recognized the tension, he quickly added, "From what I've heard."

Well, this set of Rahm off again. He started beating Geithner. This time he took off his shoe and beat him about the head and shoulders. Once Rahm had worn himself out, everyone explained to me that Ron had said "Tea Party". They also assured me that the secret service would indeed stop anyone that tries to teabag me. This made me feel better. In fact I felt so good, I was able to have a great time during my 60 minutes interview. Like the old song says "Aint nothin' gonna get me down..."