going to hit the town!
I want to do something special for Michelle, so I called on Bill. This
was right after the chemical castration. We are putting the chemicals in
his afternoon Big Mac, so he doesn't suspect a thing. I summoned him to
my office for a little of the wise and sage advice that he will
occasionally dispense.
I said "Bill, I need your advice." Bill was not acting normally- he
looked pretty upset about something. "Whadaya want", he answered. He was
sweating profusely.
"I need some advice about where to take Michelle on our date"
"I don't know, Barry- I've got my own problems..."
I asked him what was wrong. He answered "little Bill"
I thought he was talking about Chelsea- they look so much alike. I said
I just saw her and she was fine...
"No, not that little Bill- the important Little Bill- the one that hangs
out at the intern pool..."
"Bill, he's not literally "hanging out" at the intern pool, is he?
"Not anymore. Whoo- doggy, he just won't come out to play. I'm scared.
He's been my constant companion as long as I can remember..."
"Well, have you tried the affection of Hillary?" We both had a good
laugh at that one.
"I think I have an idea," Bill said. "Little Bill needs some new
friends- do you have Angela Merkel's number? Maybe she can dress up like
a garbage man- that usually works."
I stated that I was pretty sure that Ms. Merkel didn't want me giving
out her number to men with less than honorable intentions.
How about Natalie Wood- do you know where I can find her?
I said "I'm pretty sure she's dead, Bill"
Bill only answered "And?"
All I could think was "And, indeed."
"Look Bill, we've got to find you a new hobby. Perhaps you could try
getting a metal detector."
"Nah, that's the worst hobby ever"
"Maybe I should try drinking- heavily"
"Well, it will occupy your time..."
Thus, Bill was off to the package store.
What's the worst that can happen?
