Barry O For President 2012

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Why I am better than you.

Posted by Barry O Thursday, June 25, 2009, under | No comments

There was a great piece on me in the Polito . It lays out why I'm a better person than you. It does a pretty good job, too. Here are a few mor that I noticed.

I'm better than you because:

  1. I'm prettier and more photogenic.

  2. Newsweek proclaimed that I am Christ like- has Newsweek done that for you?
  3. I have transcended religion to become a secularist savior. Sort of like Flash Gordon. (King of the Universe!)
  4. I have overcome my upbringing- in suburban Hawaii.
  5. My kids go to a better (private) school than yours.
  6. I must be pretty great because people fawn over me 24 hours a day.
  7. You drive a Chevy- I get around in my own personal 747.
  8. I have Geithner working for me. That makes me smarter. And if Geithner is the only person on earth that can save our economy, that must make me some kind of uber-human.
  9. I used share will power to push the voting button in the Senate- never moved a finger.
  10. I look better in a bathing suit.
  11. My wife has a hot body- your wife has flabby arms.
  12. I take my wife to Paris for lunch. You take yours to McDonalds. That's why she has flabby arms.
  13. I wear woman's underwear. Oh wait- that's a secret.

Feel free to add your own reasons that I am better than you in the comments.