The Miracle of Multilevel marketing!

When all else fails, I look to the miracle of Multi-Level Marketing to save our asses. True, I already run the worlds largest Ponzi Scheme, Social Security, but I need a second stream of income. So, I have selected this nations MLM savior. Ignite Energy. If every American participates in Ignites 5 and 10 plan (Sign up 5 salesmen and 10 Customers), that means we would have 1.5 billion sales men and 3 billion customers. Now here is the best part- I can tax that income! Thats the fourth line of the Pyramid- Taxes. Making this a Parallelogram Scheme!

From the looks of Twitter, most Americans are already losing their shirts in these schemes, so why not join, I mean the ships already sinking- lets make the biggest possible splash when we hit the water!

I solved our economic problems!

I recently received an email from Sven Hesselbjok- a Norwegian barrister. He said that the united states had inherited 25 trillion dollars from a top Norwegian fish monger. All I had to do was release all remaining TARP funds to this barrister to cover his administrative fees. That's a net gain of 24.25 Trillion Dollars. Now I can bail out the NY Times, and nationalize everything! YEAAAAA BARRY!

42 miles per gallon- and 1300 bucks per vehicle.

You may not know this, but we are filthy stinking rich. I made bazillions on my books and Michelle has always done her own thing- also raking in big bucks. We also take public transportation everywhere- you've probably seen us in the publicly funded limousines we ride in. In fact, this new CAFE policy won't affect us at all.

It will, however, affect you. Your new cars will go up about 1300 dollars, and get slightly better gas mileage. This will allow you to feel better about yourself. Your car might be reposed, but you'll feel better about your gasoline usage. BTW, that's 44 extra dollars per month in car payment. IF you have good credit. You would save about 3 dollars per tank of gas. Most people fill up once a week. Your 44 dollars a month gets you 12 dollars a month in savings. Does this remind anyone of my economic plan? For the record, thats a 384 dollar a year loss for most new car buyers.