A Greek Archbishop recently compared me to Alexander the Great. This intrigued me, and I decided to research Alexander to find out who he was. I was shocked when I found out he was a great leader! I needed to find out more, so I kept digging. I found some startling similarities:
- We both had "Parental Issues". My mother got knocked up by a complete stranger who eventually abandoned her. Alexander's mother (Cleopatra Eurydice) was Macedonian and, thus people thought that he was not the legitimate leader of the empire. There's another parallel- many people also believe that I am not a legitimate leader!
- Another strange parallels that in Alexander's time Attalus attended a the wedding of his niece, and gave a toast for the marriage to result in a "legitimate" heir to the throne. Alexander, furious, hurled his goblet at the speaker, shouting, "What am I? A bastard, then?" At the DNC, Hillary not only stated that I was the illegitimate heir to her husbands legacy, but she also called me a bastard on numerous occasions.
- When Alexander was triumphantly campaigning north, down south, the Thebans and Athenians rebelled. Just like the Blue Dog Democrats are starting to do over my spending plans!
- There's also the obvious parallel- problems with Persians. Alexander conquered them- I coddle them. Only a difference of a few letters.
As I continued my research on Alexander I found some more things that I liked. During his time, Alexander adopted some elements of Persian dress and customs at his court, notably the custom of proskynesis, a symbolic kissing of the hand that Persians paid to their social superiors. I think I'd like to bring that back into style, along with "pork pie" hats.
Lastly, Alexander had a lifelong companion named Hephaestion, the son of a Macedonian noble. I have Geithner former appointee of DNC noble (Mayor Daley).
Boy, this would make a better movie than that twilight book. What a waste of an afternoon that was.
8 comments:
Will you force us lowly American folks to adopt some foreign culture, too?
Well, one hing I've learned in life is that the Europeans are always right, at least when they lean left. Which is most of the time. Say, have you ever heard of the Societ Union- now there was goverment. i wonder whatever happened to them???
faggot
Hey Geithner- it's for you. I think you made a friend.
I'll step out of the Barry O role for a second. Interesting that a liberal gets upset of this content and calls me a derogatory term for homosexual. I think there may be some self hatred issues there...
Barry O- Anonymous' comment is funny in a way. Some people think that Alexander was a homosexual. Perhaps they thought that you were implying that Obama is gay?
Elm,
No- only that Geithner is...
Yes, I agree it is unintentionally funny, like much of what is going on in the Whitehouse!
I think Anonymous adds a valuable element here.
Yes. Yes he does. We all love him. And not in that man on man way that o scares him.
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