I have a secret crush

We have to keep this quiet. If Rahm finds out, he'll blow his stack. You see, my secret crush is on a Republican.

I know, I know. You think I have a crush on Sarah Palin. While Sarah is chock full of MILFy goodness, my heart belongs to another. I'm speaking of Michelle Bachman. True they both have sexy Tina Fey glasses and both know their way around a homey euphemism, but Michelle is so much more than just another gun nut.

I just love her, from the tip of brownish locks of hair to her hyperactive uterus (5 biological children!). She has such a big heart. 23 foster children have passed through her household. She has a degree from Winona State University. She's a lawyer, and as you know all lawyers have a special place in liberals hearts...

I melt when I hear my name pass through her full, luxurious lips. Anything she says sounds poetic. "I was hopeful that President Obama would have called for real earmark reform since he swore off earmarks during his campaign last year. Unfortunately, this has not yet occurred and the rules governing the earmark system continue to fall short. From what I’ve seen up to this point, I echo Senator McCain’s sentiments of frustration with the bipartisan abuse of earmarks." I don't even have to agree with what she says to love her.

Ohh, Michelle. It's to bad you are morally sound- I can't sway you to our side, like we did Arlen. It seems you actually believe in what you have been saying all these years.