What really happened

So the news is out. Let me give you my side on what happened.

Back during the primaries, I saw Bobby Jindal and thought- now that's a charismatic and intelligent man. I can pull off the charisma, but the intelligence thing, ah, is ah, well, it, ah, escapes me, sometimes. Jindal is well spoken and I had to have him on my team. So I called Axelrod and said, how about we truly do something different. How about Jindal as a VP. "He said no, it's Joe's turn." That didn't stop me though.

As you may know, I went on to win the General Election. So now I work for Rahm, and not Berry. So I tried again. I went to Rahm and said, I want Jindal on the team. Rahm started laughing and just walked out. So I asked again. He said "Look, we can't have that type of person in here." I was offended- it shouldn't matter if he was from latin America- he needs to be treated like everyone else. I asked "Is it because he's Catholic?" Rahm chuckled and said no, it's because he is Republican."

That I understood. So I set out to found my own swarthy Latin politician. That’s when I watched "House" and saw Kal Penn. I knew I had my man.

Kal will basically be running all our Public Laison efforts. As you know, we don't really do much here, besides liaison with the public. So he'll be busy.

Note from 3 fingered Pete. Yes, this is true. Kumar is going to the Whitehouse.