We had a rough day, and I'm happy it's over. SSgt Thomason told us we should sleep during the day, and travel at night. I found out something about Geithner that I never wanted to know- he suffers from night terrors- even during the day. Every time we fell asleep, we would awaken to his screams. Screams of things that scare liberals "Free Market!" one moment, "Fair Tax" the next. The screams were horrifying. Finally, after Geithner tried to cuddle up next to SSgt Thomason, I heard a thump and Geithner went quiet. Unfortunately, it was already too late. We weren’t the only ones too hear Geithner's screams.
We were first alerted to the presence of the Iranian platoon when a shot rang out, and SSgt Thomason slouched over. Then something truly bizarre happened. I remember hearing Geithner scream "Noooooooo!" I know this sounds silly, but I can swear he also said "I loved him"- funny what the desert can do to your hearing.
Anyway- this is where it starts to get weird. Geithner charges the Iranian platoon and engages them in a style of martial arts I have never seen before. He looked like a limp wristed, effeminate ninja. Here's the strange part- he was singing and dancing through the whole fight.
"On the first part of the journey- step 2,3,4" he said, all the while running and leaping toward the Iranians.
"I was looking at all the life- roundhouse!" and an Iranian went down as Geithner frolicked on.
"There were plants and birds and rocks and things. There was sand and hills and rings" and then he leapt 6 feet into the air- landing on an Iranian, the Iranians head buried in Geithner's groin.
"I've been through the desert on a horse with no name. It felt good to be out of the rain", then Geithner flexed his thighs and snapped the mans neck.
It went on like this until. Geithner finished the song. There was silence as he faced the last standing Iranian. They both surveyed the area, and then the Iranian dropped his rifle and ran off into the desert. We were safe for the moment.
Geithner ran back to SSgt Thomason. He cradled the man's head in his lap and said "Don't leave me, baby". Then, amazingly, SSgt Thomason's had shot straight up and grabbed Geithner's neck. I heard SSgt Thomason scream "Get off of me you douche!" We later found out that we was wearing a bullet proof vest, and had only suffered 2 broken ribs and a bruised liver.
As SSGT Thomason choked Geithner we heard the four bladed Hueys swoop in. The UH-1Z's were here to take us home. After the long day, I was willing to skip the fritters and get to London. I wonder what happened to Rahm?
3 comments:
Wow, I always thought that was a killer song... but this was beyond my imaginings.
Hey, my verification word is wores. Isn't that spelled wrong?
yes- it should woes. Or maybe whores- I'll check with Bill.
mine was preptati
Barry
Oh, Barry O, don't worry...you'll fritter away your time at the G20.
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