Barry O For President 2012

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Spies in North Korea

Posted by Barry O Tuesday, March 24, 2009, under ,, | 1 comment

My fellow Americans. As you know I am a globalist- our reputation around
the world is important to me. I was greatly saddened that North Korea
would accuse us of using journalists as spies. This is an unfair and
untrue accusation. To improve our standing in the eyes of the North
Koreans, I had a conversation with my intel guy. I said "Mr. Army man"-
and he cut me off. He said "Mr. President, I proudly served in the
United States Marine Corps." I answered with a legitimate question
"What's the difference?" Can you believe he gave me a 2 hour history
lesson? BORING! Anyway I decided to call him Jonesy- like the cat in
that movie about the Alien. What was that movie called, anyway?

So after my history lesson, I confronted Jonesy with the journalist
issue. I am quite protective of journalists- as they are of me. Jonesy
told me that he didn't have a list of "assets" in Korea on him. I asked
him when he could provide that list. He hedged and asked why I needed
it. I said that I had a brilliant idea.

I told Jonesy that I needed to protect all American citizens. He agreed.
I said that this includes journalists. Jonesy started to look a little
nervous. I said that the best way to ensure that our journalists are not
accused of being spies is to publish a list of our actual spies- that
way everyone will know who they are. This will keep our journalists
safe, and my reputation in tact.

General Jones answered that it might take some time to complete my
request. He said that he needs to ensure the safety of al involved. I'm
no push over though, so I pressed him for a time frame. He answered
"Well, up to 8 years, but I really hope that this becomes unnecessary in
four years."

There you have it- your president at work. Keeping journalists safe the
world over.


Oh, Barry O...I feel so much safer, now that those fine, objective journalists are well protected.