HELP!

My subscription to this magazine lapsed some years ago- can someone help me renew. I really miss curling up with the new issue every month....

Dating game for Taliban

Not sure where this came from- it was an anonymous email....

Missle Defense

You may have heard that I "rolled over" for Russia regarding the missiles we were going to place in Poland and the Czech Republic. Nothing could be further from the truth. Feeling the need to defend myself, I offer up the details on the meeting were we made this historic decision.I remember it as though it was yesterday. I had a feeling that it was going to be a special day- you know that feeling you get where your stomach is feels like you had just been kicked by a mule? You know, the feeling when your "special uncle" invites you to look for the...

...

Transacript of my speech to school children

I was originally going to start with this:We live in exciting times. We make no complaints. We are used to battle, for out if it we came. We will plant our feet firmly in our earth, and no attack will move us. You will stand with me, should such a time come! You will stand before me, at my side, and behind me, holding our flags high! Let our old enemies attempt to rise up once more! They may wave their Soviet flags before us — but our flag will win the battle! Then Rahm said he recognized it, in fact one of his hero's had used it before.Cheese...

What's wrong?

As you might have noticed, I've lost a little of the bounce in my step lately. My approval ratings are down (46%? Even I'm surprised that they are still that high), I lost my good friend Teddy. My good friend, who by the way, filched my signature legislation from beyond the grave. And now, to top it off, Gen. McChrystal called me a douche today.He didn't say it in so many words, but I know that he was thinking it. He confirmed what most people already know. My strategy to end the war is not working. I have to say I'm a little upset. I ran on ending...

Obamaland

According to Breitbart (that Simpson lad is smart) real unemployment is at 16%. Personally, I prefer the fantasy world that my advisers and I live in. In Obamaland, unemployment is at 4.5%, we are winning the war in Afghanistan, America has 3 strong healthy car companies and gas is under 2 bucks a gallon.What do you mean that sounds like President Bush's tenure...

An emergency meeting.

Sorry I haven't been posting a lot lately. If you've seen my polls, you might know the reason. It seems that, somehow, America has lost faith in me. Normally a politician would respond with clarification of existing initiatives, or a bold new direction. As you know, I am incapable of this type of thought, or indeed of making any kind of decision whatsoever. That's why Rahm called a meeting of my closest advisers. After much negotiation and pleading, my advisors allowed me to attend as well.I was in a room with Rahm, Geithner, David Axelrod, Bill...

Uh-ohh

Looks like some bad news for me. I can't believe that hope has died.....

My feelings are hurt.

There's this new blog, called Atlanta Politics Online. It seems to be a band of people who have banded together to hate me. Yes- they are Barry haters.An example from a "Dr. Dave" - "I’m a democrat. I have a $20 million vacation playground on Martha’s Vineyard and a guarded compound in South Chicago and belong to the richest majority in Washington’s history. But I hate rich people who aren't democrats and want your property too so I can save endangered swamp rats and build turtle tunnels and fix toilets. You owe me."I'm not sure- but I think he...

@CrazyCatKid moves the cheese

Those of you that follow me on twitter may also follow @CrazyCatKid. She is a top operative in the GOP cheese movement. She scares Rahm a little. They are both Jewish, and with Rahm being on the anti-Israel side while CrazyCat is strongly pro Israel, well you can imagine the tension.Anyhow, I noticed a tweet asking her twitties to stop buying Sargento products. I had to ask why. She stated that Sargento sent her an email stating that Beck equals hate. I was intrigued. Certainly popular folk singer Beck is a bit of a long haired douche (my new vocab...

My first post over APO

Don't worry- this is only a once a week thing. I'll be up to my normal shenanigans over here. Anyway enj...

Barry O has joined APO

Hi. I just wanted to add there will be sweet, sweet bonus Barry from now on. I'll be posting a weekly satire piece at Atlanta Politics Online. Mmmm mmm good. Just like sweet tea. Only sweeter. And with more tummy ach...

More on Healthcare

Yahoo ran the following fact check on something I said. First here is Yahoo's version:WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Barack Obama has indicated a willingness to drop a government-run health care plan from any overhaul. The White House says that'snot a shift. Actually, it is.Fierce proponents of a government-run health plan for months, Obama and senior administration officials, bowing to pressure from Republicans and skeptical voters, suggested that such a public option is not do-or-die."All I'm saying is, though, that the public option, whether we...

Flag Barry O abusers

I thought it was a great idea, after all, Nixon had an enemies list. Now Nixon is a POTUS with some serious exposure. He was even on Futurama. I'd kill for a gig like that.Anyway, Rahm wasn't pleased with the results, so you'll notice that the emails are now bouncing back. A sad end to a historic government progr...

Obamacare update (new health care advisor)

I've assigned a new Obamacare advisor to work toward a single payer system. He is a renowned physician, and celebrity. Maybe you have heard of him. His name is Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Let's give him a Big O welcome!I first heard of Dr. Jack some years ago. His cutting edge treatment of terminal patients led to a 100% customer satisfaction rate. As a matter of fact, not one single customer of Dr. Jack has ever complained!Rahm and David Axelrod had both carefully vetted Dr. Jack. They assure me that he has the necessary skill to make the hard decisions...

Any publicity

These are popping up all over Los Angeles. Like toot used to tell me, any publicity is good publicity. Except for that health care thing. Or the Cap and Trade. Or the Birth Certificate fiasco (boy did we screw the pooch on that). Or the economy. Hmmmmm. Maybe I need to rethink Toots advice on th...

10000 and counting

Some time last night, PresidentBarryO went over the 10000 count in twitter followers- thanks a...

The Beer Summit

As my loyal readers, I think you need the truth of what went on at thebeer summit. It started out as a nice day. Then Joe Biden showed up with the beer. Ihad given him a very specific list, including Blue Moon. I would havepreferred Goose Island, but I can't get that in DC. Anyway Biden showsup with Pabst Blue Ribbon. Unbelievably, that's not even the worst part.I handed Joe a one hundred dollar bill, and he brings back a 12 pack ofPBR and 6 bucks in change. Incredible!So Joe, humpy, and I are sitting around waiting for our guests, and weeach grab...

Planetary collisions

I'm not much for astralolomy, but I heard about a massive planetarycollision. I'm worried. I've already confused NASA to the point thatthey have no idea of where they are going or what they are doing. Then,to top it off, I overheard Geithner talking about a collision of "Uranuswith my Dick". He was quite excited about the whole thing. Usually hedoesn't get so worked up over the former VP, Dick Cheney.I got to thinking. It doesn't take an idiot to realize that any contactbetween Uranus and Dick would be catastrophic. So, I propose that wewrap dick...

Biden

Just to clarify. I didn't say Biden was an enormous asset. I said he was an enormous ass...

First crapper funds restroom complete.

Well, looks like my legacy is, well, in the crapper! I flew a photographer out to take a picture of the first Crapper completed with stimulus funds, and I must say that the work is remarkable. Especially when judged against other government work. In a word, or 7, it sums up the whole Obama experience! This, America, is why you made the right choice in November. Speaker Pelosi, Sen. Reid and I could not be happier with the results of this stimulus...

Barry is back!

We'll I'm back. Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been alittle depressed by the latest tracking polls. You see, I know thateveryone loves me because Rahm keeps telling me so. I'm just a littleconfused by the numbers. That's when I had an idea. I knew that I had tofind a way to use the stimulus funds in a way that would truly benefiteveryone. Then, and only then, could America show it's love for meagain. I thought long and hard, but I was coming up blank. Then I overheard TimGeithner while he was on the phone. He was complaining about...

Health care made simple

I told you this would be ea...

Not again

Okay- Michelle is going to be really angry now. I got caught twice today. And what's the worst part about this? Sarkosy is looking at me again. What the hell? Every time a hottie bends over in front of us, he's staring at me. I'm really uncomfortable now...

Caption me!

Okay- this is why Michelle is angry with me, but you have to admit that is (as Bill would say) a sweet, sweet ass.The real problem here, isnt so much that I was about to swat Mayora Taveras on the bum (I'm a Democrat and we get away with that sort of thing), it's that she is only 16. That and I think Sarkozy may have been checking me out...Anyhow, please add your own caption in the remarks.Ci...

A true (liberal) nightmare.

Michelle is not talking to me. I seemed to have offended her somehow,and in fact slept on the couch in the oval office last night. I don'tknow if it was being a tall man sleeping on a short couch, or what, butit was a pretty uncomfortable night. It gave me nightmares.I dreamt that I was living in a land where the only tax was this thingcalled a "fair tax". It's like the sales tax I want to use to fundhealthcare, only it would REPLACE THE INCOME TAX. I still shudderthinking about it. This was a strange and horrible place that I wasdreaming of. The...

Drooz- your country needs you

presidentbarryo@yahoo....

G8

MSNBC ran the headline that the group of 8 and I recently tackled theglobal economy. I wouldn't really say we tackled it, as much assubjugated the economy in a complete takedown. No doubt about it- wekicked it's ass. It's going to take years to recov...

No one tagged me. :(

Well, no one bothered to tag me in this fun little game of "10 thingsabout me". You are all a bunch of haters. Except for Humpy- he trulyunderstands me. Here's my list anyway...1. Did you know that I know where Osama is? Yep, I've known all along- Ijust looked at the return address on his campaign contributions!2. Did you know that I own a car company? (Yea! We all own a carcompany!)3. Did you know that my genitals have permanently shrunk? Extremely lowtestosterone is why I won't confront Hugo Chavez. Ahhh, Hugo. Nowthere's a guy a pair THIS BIG!4....

Al Gore dropped by today

Al Gore stopped by today. You wouldn't believe how much that guy sweats.He blames global warming, but Bill had the thermostat permanently set to58 degrees when he was in the oval office. He said it improved his view,whatever that means. Anyway, Gore is always sweating. He actually leavesthe seat wet when he stands up. It's disgusting....Anyway, he was sweating even worse than normal today. He was wearing anarmy helmet and what appeared to be an accessorizing vest. He said I hadto save the world from the climate Nazi's. This intrigued me, as newlycrowned...

Important decisions.

As you may have heard, today I met President Dmitry Medvedev. My guys(the main stream media) will tell you that it's about arms control andmending broken fences. But we touched on some pretty important things."Barry, how you are doing? In Soviet Russia we are doing goodly!", saidmy old pal Dmitry."We are doing well, you big old cuddly bear!" I said as we exchangedwhat Rahm calls "Euro-fag kisses"."The world. It is a dangerous place, with all that happens in the wakeof the Kings death..."said Dmitry. Curiously, as soon as he mentionedMichael Jackson...

CIA and MJ

"Mr. President, there's someone to see you from Foggy Bottom...""Saggy bottom", I answered. "Perhaps some crunches are in order""No Mr. President, I mean the CIA. He's here with Rahm""Well show them in."It was good to see Rahm. He's so busy running the country that I don't get to see him as much as I used to. He strode in confidently with a thoroughly non-descript man. Probably in his forties. He could have been anyone.Rahm said "We have an important briefing for you."The CIA Guy answered "Do we? I haven't decided yet.""He has met Drooz" answered...

PDA

I know that many people show grief in different ways. It appears that Rev. Al Sharpton was so distressed by the death of Michael Jackson that he decided to grind his sorrow away. A little PDA always pricks up, well you get the idea.I truly hope that Rev. Sharpton never loses a family member. I can't imagine what would happen (in public) then. I just pray that I never have to see it.Enjoy this picture, while Barry O goes to bleach his eyeballs clean....

Uh-oh

Was it something I said? Something I did? My deodorant? Humpy?I don't get it. I'm turning our nation into a socialist wonderland and nobody approv...

Georgie Stephanpanpolopi

Wow- when I saw little Georgie Stephanpanpolopi grilling my good friend Barry Axelrod Sunday, I was angry- really angry. I had made myself perfectly clear. I have no recollection of this notion that I promised not to raise taxes. For God's sake, I'm a Democrat- I have to raise taxes. And raise taxes I will. But, please understand. I do so for the greater good. Poor people who are on welfare need your money more than you do. After all, shouldn’t these poor people have the same access to quality health care as the rest of us? This kind of access...

Meeting with Pelosi on cap and trade

Nancy Pelosi stopped by. She kind of creeps me out. She acts like a nervous cat. She has those creepy eyes that seem to be watching everything all at once. She slinks around the room, acting as if she is unsure of whether she should sit or not. She sees and criticizes everything, but doesn’t really seem to care about anything. Humpy positively hates her. He is the only person (or thing, for that matter) that he views as below standards for his special brand of love.She slinked in, unannounced, to talk about the big cap and trade bill. She's from...

Staff meeting

Here is a photo of Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano at our last staff meeting. Boy, this was fun. Adding the third pig was Bill Clinton's id...

Why I am better than you.

There was a great piece on me in the Polito . It lays out why I'm a better person than you. It does a pretty good job, too. Here are a few mor that I noticed.I'm better than you because:I'm prettier and more photogenic.Newsweek proclaimed that I am Christ like- has Newsweek done that for you?I have transcended religion to become a secularist savior. Sort of like Flash Gordon. (King of the Universe!)I have overcome my upbringing- in suburban Hawaii.My kids go to a better (private) school than yours.I must be pretty great because people fawn over...

M Conservative Operative: This is a Proud American Michele you can believe in!#comments

I'm trying to share her, but damn it's hard. I just love Michele Bachman! M Conservative Operative: This is a Proud American Michele you can believe in!#comme...

Whats on my ipod?

I just found my favorite boyhood album on eBay- Rock on on Mother Russ...

Hanging out with Bill

Wow- working here is like working at a circus, only there are more clowns. Today Bill Clinton walked into my office- Naked."Hey, Barry! Hot DOG, it's a beautiful day!" said Bill.All I could think at that moment was that beauty is in the eye of the beholder- and my day had just become a lot less beautiful. I managed a half hearted "How's it hanging?", which I regretted immediately.Bill started walking toward me and was wildly gyrating his hips- "It's hanging free and proud, baby!"I had to ask- "Bill why are you naked?" He was ready with an answer."Barry,...

Another admirer of MB

Looks like I have competition in my secret (as in only in my mind) affair with Michele Bachman.http://mconservativeoperative.blogspot.com/2009/06/this-is-proud-american-michele-you-can.html#commentsIt's a good read. Guess I'll have to share...

Thought provoking song

Sung to CreditReport.com's "I Married My Dream Girl" (Courtesy of the IllinoisReview.c...

Barry O explains it all...

I saw this on a blog, and felt I had to reply to some of the most bothersome accusations. If I miss any of these, it was W's fault...101 Freedoms and Rights the Progressive Left Doesn’t Want You to HaveThe Freedom to keep what you earn and spend it as you please. I support each and every Americans right to earn as much as possible, and the federal governments right to keep those earnings. See, we are on the same page!The Freedom to take risks, and live with the consequences.As any good American knows it is the federal governments job to protect...

I need to talk to the Navy Guy...

I logged into Foxnews today, and the first thing I see is "Navy Positioning Destroyer USS John McCain to Intercept Suspect North Korean Vessel". What???Couldn't they send another ship, I mean I used to live there. Now all that stands between the certain destruction and Obama's homeland is John McCain? Seems like there must be a lesson in there somewhere for all of us...

A big O nightmare.

Last night, I had a dream. It was so horrible that I wet the bed- and let me tell you, that always makes Michelle angry. I mean, we sleep in our own twin beds (Michelle says she’s a big Dick van Dyke show fan), but my urine has an intense carrot smell. It’s awful…Anyway, the dream was horrible. I was sitting in the Oval Office, and I was surrounded by monkeys. All the monkey’s had Rahm’s face. Worse yet, the monkeys spoke with Geithner’s voice. The monkeys were all eating cheetos. They had the orange cheese powder all over their lips and fingertips.The...

I'm Back!

Hi- I'm back.Democracy is important. I get that. That's why I cast my absentee ballot today in the Iranian elections. My vote is the only way that I'll have any say as to what's going on over there. For those interested, I voted for Ahkmadinwhosi...

Clarification on Iran and nuclear power.

I wanted to explain my remarks about Iran. I recently said that Iran has the right to nuclear energy. When you take this remark in the proper context, you will see that it's not controversial at all. What I meant to say is Iran has a right to nuclear energy, just like North Korea. See, doesn't it make sense n...

Twitter

Sadly, none of these guys have followed BarryO...

There goes LA

I woke up in a pretty good mood today. I was even whistling "Ain't nothing gonna get me down" as walked to breakfast (Raisin Bran, but I pick out the bran). Then I saw it. The family was watching TV- and I noticed that a massive alien space ship had just obliterated the US bank building in Los Angeles. I rushed down to my secret bunker (oops, scratch one secret- or maybe 2) and called for the National Security staff.I had kept watching TV while I waited for the staff to arrive. I bravely watched Cousin Eddie give his life to save us all. Then everyone...

Korea

My national security team came to see me today. They don't visit much, so I knew it must be important. They wanted to talk about Korea."Did someone buy me a Hyundai"? I asked. Rahm said no. Then he punched Geithner for some reason."Oh I know, Hyundai is buying General Motors?" "No!" Screamed Hillary "Don't you read the papers?" She shrieked.I answered that "Reading is not my forte." Everyone nodded in agreement."Mr President, North Korea-" I interrupted for some clarification. "Which one is that?""The one on Top." added Hillary. She was getting...

Even as a young man, I knew how to lead.

Here, you see me practicing to be president, way back in my freshman ye...

True Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Ohh, those lips, the beautiful eyes, and I am truly smitten. I just can't get my eyes off of her. And her money- think of the donations to my PAC. Truly beautiful...

A haunting experience of presidents past

People often say the Whitehouse is haunted by ghosts- mostly Abe Lincoln. I haven't seen Lincoln yet, but I saw something pretty disturbing yesterday.I set out looking for Bill Clinton- he still hangs out here quite a bit. I thought he might be able to help me with my Cheney situation. Usually when I need to find Bill, I head down to the intern pool. Since I needed to walk Humpy, I thought it would be a good time to take him for a drag. What I saw when I reached the intern pool shocked both Humpy and I.Bill was lying there, almost naked. He was...

2000 Followers

Thanks all- we have hit 2000 followers on twitter. We are also in the top 10 percent of those listed on "Top Conservatives on Twitter." Yesterday, we added over 300 followe...

Free e-book

Barry O is giving away free e-books to anyone that follows him on Twitter. Don't be a leader- be a follower, It's just plain easi...

I solved our economic problems!

I recently received an email from Sven Hesselbjok- a Norwegian barrister. He said that the united states had inherited 25 trillion dollars from a top Norwegian fish monger. All I had to do was release all remaining TARP funds to this barrister to cover his administrative fees. That's a net gain of 24.25 Trillion Dollars. Now I can bail out the NY Times, and nationalize everything! YEAAAAA BAR...

42 miles per gallon- and 1300 bucks per vehicle.

You may not know this, but we are filthy stinking rich. I made bazillions on my books and Michelle has always done her own thing- also raking in big bucks. We also take public transportation everywhere- you've probably seen us in the publicly funded limousines we ride in. In fact, this new CAFE policy won't affect us at all.It will, however, affect you. Your new cars will go up about 1300 dollars, and get slightly better gas mileage. This will allow you to feel better about yourself. Your car might be reposed, but you'll feel better about your...

Einat Haran

I met with Bebe today. I don't think it went very well. He kept talking about Terrorists. I wanted to talk about Palestinians. He kept saying it was the same thing. I didn't get it. Bebe just got frustrated and changed the subject.He said that he had brought me a gift, so I was quite excited. It was a box of fritters! I vociferously thanked Bebe. He continued to look at me sternly. He asked, "Do you notice anything?" I noticed that the fritters were shaped like a little girl. Bebe asked "Do you know the little girls name?" I said I did not. I love...

%#U^%#*!!!

Damn, I'm screw...

Bushwood

I used some connections of mine to become a member of Bushwood Country Club. It's not all I thought it would be. People shun me for what I am. I find that intolerable. I was born this way. I should not be judged this way. People shouldn't shun me because I am a liberal.Anyway, the restaurant is pretty good. I sat there alone, Rahm was going to come, but he couldn't. You know, he's Jewish. I pointed out that Rahm's record proves that no one is a bigger enemy of Israel, but that wasn't good enough...To get back on message, today's lunch special was...

Trouble on the homefront

So, Michelle saw me sitting with my WangUS in a cup of ice. When we were trying to have kids, I was plagued by a low sperm count. The doctor thought that icing my testicles would help. Long story short when Michelle saw me sitting there in the oval office, with my pants around my knees, dipping my junk in a cup of ice, and immediately thought I wanted new bebes. Now, everyone knows that I don't think anyone should be cursed with bebe's. That's where I stand- on a firmly anti-bebe plank. That includes my own bebes.Anyhow- when she moved in to consummate...

Who cares, they are Republicans

I'm not sure what the problem is here. It seems that a good many overseas votes go uncounted.It said that of 441,000 absentee ballots requested by eligible voters living abroad - mainly active-duty and reserve troops - more than 98,000 were "lost" ballots that were mailed out but never received by election officials. Taking into account 13,500 ballots that were rejected for such reasons as a missing signature or failure to notarize, one-quarter of those requesting a ballot were disenfranchised.So- to be clear. Disenfranchising a hundred thousand...

My plans for Chrysler (Obama GTX)

As you may have noticed, I'm calling the shots at Chrysler now. Today, I cut the advertising budget in half, I mean who going to buy one of those things anyway? Did you know that Chrysler actually makes cars in America? Who would want an American car, anyway?To get things back on track, I have designed my own car. I call it Obama GTX. Here are the features:Super fuel efficient Briggs and Stratton 148cc engine4.5 Ft/lbs of torque2 hpBig mirrors on the sun visorsSeats!Nike brakesBeverage holderAluminum mufflerVinyl windowsTo save on cost, all units...

I think I am going to try this.

I read about a man that hasn't bathed in 35 years.Here's the critical piece of information:Kailash "Kalau" Singh replaces bathing and brushing his teeth with a "fire bath"every evening when he stands on one leg beside a bonfire, smokes marijuana and says prayers to Lord Shiva, according to the Hindustan Times.I put some thought into this. It's kind of like what the administration is doing to the economy. We've set the economy on fire- as you can see we've burned it almost down to the ground. Most of the administration is on Dope (sin't it obvious),...

Why weekends suck

Those of you who follow on twitter know that I had a little problem over the weekend.I was watching a special presentation of Star Trek. I thoroughly enjoyed the move, although I'm not sure where William Shatner was. Anyway, all through the movie I was sipping on one of those 144 ounce Mountain Dew's. By the time the movie was over, I was ready to float out of the Whitehouse Screening Room. I ran to the bathroom and started to answer natures call. That's when I heard Geithner.As you can imagine, my first instinct was to zip up. As I found out,...

1000 Tweeters and counting

Trackcrat put Barry O at 1000 Twitter followers. Than...

Official Hillary Portrait

I got admit- she pulled off the perfect look...

My comments on Arlen.

Arlen Specter sent men email, complaining that I am not keeping my promises. Aside from wondering "what makes him any different than anyone else". I didn't think much of it. The the complaint hit the Internet, so I thought I'd comment• Specter said that he would be keeping his seniority when he announced his party switch last week. Harry Reid didn't keep that promise- he did not keep his seniority. Harry said, "He is a person who's been in the Senate since 1980. I think he should be able to handle himself." So, there there it is, right form the...

Budget is out.

Big dollars. That's what I'm all about. 3.4 trillion dollars seems like alot, but wait till you see next years budg...

My new magazine came today!

Now I have something to do today! Courtesy of Flashbunny....

It's the economy, stupid!

When I came in to work today, Geithner was hiding under my desk. He was rolled up in a fetal position, gently rocking back and forth. I tried to get him out of the way- my computer is at my desk and I heard Tetris calling me. Tetris is how I've decided to pass most of my time in the Oval Office. I tried other games but they proved to be to complex. I've been working on Tetris now for four months, and I think I am close to completing level one. As you may of noticed, I'm not always so good at making quick decisions. I hope this can help.Anyway,...

Lunch

So, I finally drag Joe out of my office. He's been hiding here since the Swine Flu epidemic. We decide to go get some lunch. He was hesitant. He thought you could get Swine Flu form pork sausage. Of course as soon as someone said sausage, Geithner sticks his head in the office. I don't know what it is about that guy- he's sausage crazy. Anyway, Tim didn't want to go for lunch, so it was just Joe and me. The Secret Service drops us off at McDonalds...

600th follower on Twitter

Thank you Conrad Jamrowski, you are Barry O's 600th follower on Twitter. (BTW, our widget works, it just not realtim...

I got this new game...

Michelle bought me a new game, since I sit around here with nothing to do. It's called Commander-in Chief. Geopoli something something.It is a very frustrating game. I feel like I'm completely unprepared to play this game. No mater what I do, the economy tanks, and Iran gets nuclear weapons. You don't even want to know what happens after that.I've been practicing- I even read up on the Carter administration to try and apply it to this game. After all, who knows more about Iran and a bad economy than Jimmy Carter. That went really bad. I just don't...

ACORN

We all know that a tiny ACORN grows in to a mighty oak. I guess that's why I get confused as to why everyone always complains that ACORN is bad. What's a little voter fraud between friends?Let me put this way. I am the mighty oak. My candidacy were the roots we put down to grow this mighty oak. ACORN was the seed I sprung from. The voter fraud is the filthy dirty soil that I planted my roots in.So, just to make this clear. My candidacy was rooted in the filth that is ACORN voter fraud. Is that clear n...

Dr. Rahm

1 TRILLION DOLLARS (waste...

TMI

Michelle tells me that TMI means "too much information." This usually applies to any personal conversation that Bill Clitnon engages in. Today, he bumped this up to a new level."BARRRRRRRy" he said as he walked in "How's it hangin, my man.""It hangs well, " I added. "Why is your face so brusied?""Well it's Hillary's 'Lady Time', you know, Aunty flow has come a callin'.""That's enough Bill..." I added as quickly as possible, but I knew he was in a mood to share."Yeah. It's tough on her, she can't use those wussie feminine products from Safeway-...