Barry O For President 2012

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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Approved list of enhanced interrogation techniques

Posted by Barry O Thursday, April 30, 2009, under | 6 comments

There has been much made of my reluctance to water board our enemies. As I said recently, we can get the information elsewhere. To clarify, I am providing this list of enhanced interrogation techniques:

  • Gift of flowers.
  • Gift of chocolate.
  • A "Harsh talking to".
  • A spa day.
  • An enhanced spa day (with happy ending provided by Hillary Clinton).
  • No TV for a week.
  • No cell phone for a week
  • A day at Six Flags (No Hello Allah vests will be worn by detainees!)
  • Extra chores around the prison.
  • Detainees will write a 300 word report on "Why I love the infidels".

I hope this clarifies things- I wouldn't want anyone to think that this administration is soft on terrorists.


I know something that would make the terrorists sing like canaries. Force them to listen to one of Obama's speeches.

Just the suggestion of a Hilary happy ending might force them into divulging all al Qaeda secrets.

Bill Clinton here-

Boy howdy, I got to tell you, hillaries is all kinds of bad juju when it comes to happy endings.

Oh, Barry O, don't forget the chocolate chip cookies...all terroritst just LOVE chocolate chip cookies.

How about making them eat bacon?



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