Barry O For President 2012

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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Come and knock on our door...

Posted by Barry O Thursday, April 23, 2009, under ,,,,, | 3 comments

Hillary stopped by- and boy did things get out of hand.

Hillary started out by saying "Barry, listen carefully. I need your attention"

I thought that it must be important, so I put down my new Nintendo DSi and started to listen.

"The Taliban are 70 miles outside of Imamabad"

"Awesome!" I said.

"Excuse me?" said a flustered Hillary.

"If there was ever a people in dire need of cinnamon rolls, it the citizens of Islamabad. I've been there- they can really use some sweet, sweet, sugary goodness..."

Hillary was mad now. I wasn't sure why. Hillary continued, "I said Taliban, you douche. Not Cinabon."

I was about to ask her what the difference was, when she noticed a pair of panties peaking out of a planter. We usually find 2 or 3 a week. Strangely, W said he thought he had found them all midway through his second term. I knew that Bill was in for another savage beating. I feared that he could not withstand another head injury. It was then that I remembered something Bill tells me quite often. "Bros before hoes".

Just then Hillary shrieked "That rat-BASTARD!

"Wait Hillary- don't hurt Bill. The panties are mine."

"You son of a bitch. You aren't putting Michelle through what I-"

Still in a near panic, I cut her off. I had to convey that I would never cheat on Michelle. "No Hillary, they are mine- I wear the panties."

"That explains Geithner. Look dumbass, as a liberal I have to support your savage man love with Geithner. I don't have to like it, though. I'm going to take 10 minutes and clear my head. I'll grab the PowerPoint that explains to you what the difference between the Taliban and a Cinabon is- again. Please pay attention this time".

She left me, and I panicked. I stuck my head out the door and yelled "Geithner!" moments later he was in the Oval Office. I filled him in on what had happened, and we hatched a plan.

I instructed Tim to treat me affectionately whenever we were alone with Hillary. You know, a well placed pat on the shoulder, or to shake my hand for just a moment too long. This would be uncomfortable, but we had to take one for the team- the administration was counting on us. Geithner was strangely enthusiastic.

Well, things got weird when Hillary walked back in. Geithner literally jumped in my lap, while trying to unbuckle my pants, Geithner jammed his tongue in my mouth. I had sworn to myself that I would never find myself in a situation where Geithner's tongue was in my mouth (again) . As if this wasn't horrible enough- Humpy must have smelled something in the air. He crawled up to Hillary and mounted her meaty calf. Hillary was about ready to blow her top when the worst possible thing happened. Bill walked in.

"Hot DOG! It's a 90's style Oval Office par-tay!", said Bill. Then he noticed Hillary.

Hillary connected a solid roundhouse to Bills head. Fortunately, Humpy was flung off before she made contact. Unfortunately, he landed on Geithner neck where he, ah, finished up.

At least Humpy's attention got Geithner off my lap...


Oh Barry0! You truly have to be more careful how you "take one" for the team from here out.

Oh, Barry O, it's good that you got Geithner off your if you would just get him off your cabinet.



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